NaNoWriMo – ‘Multidimensional Love’

Sorry in advance for any formatting errors! I’m having to type this on my phone as I’m traveling.

 

‘Multidimensional Love’

I am a creator of many worlds,
Is it incumbent upon myself that
I treat them all with love.

They are my scars, whole valleys
Baring the lives of thousands I will
Never fully know.

They are my lashes, my hair,
My nails, things that are apart of me,
Yet I am so quick to lose unknowingly.

Whole worlds die and live on my skin,
Little villages, colonies, nations,
And many more inside of me will thrive.

My fantasies are alive, multiple personalities
Branching off of a single curious whim, acted
Out in walking and sleeping dreams.

Tell me, why I cannot love them? Why should
I not love them? Them in all their horrors
And grace – them existing in me.

It’s magic, it’s witchcraft, its power in basic
Realization that I am more than me,
I am beyond a single being.

 

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

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Mid-November Update!

Time has really been escaping me – I hit a bit of a block in writing from exhaustion and work. As it is officially the Holiday season in the States, my work schedule became very inconsistent. We need at least one person in the kitchen at all times, not counting our bi-weekly truck days and audit times, but it’s also suggested to take time off to visit family during this time. As there are only four of us working the kitchen the movement anytime someone takes time off we have to completely redo the schedule to keep coverage. So the last two weeks I’ve been covering random days and times.

As of right now, I’m in the middle of getting packed to go North to visit family for three days. Before I leave I’m going to try and queue up some poetry I’ve written – I’ve plenty of of pieces, I’ve just been dead tired and not all of them are.. good (in my opinion). I’ve also been getting no-where with Destiny – which sucks, but it happens.

So sorry for the sudden disappearance! Hope you all are doing alright!

NaNoWriMo – ‘Scrimshank’

It’s been a good day. It was raining when I got off work this morning,and after a quick unexpected nap I hung out with a friend. We mostly got coffee and prepped for an upcoming Starfinder campaign that’ll be starting sometime in December. It also helps my mood, but not my wallet, that I bought two books I didn’t need.

Today’s poem is actually a fun little piece I wrote using today’s word of the day as a jumping point. To scrimshank is to avoid one’s obligations or share of work – aka, to shirk duties.

 

‘Scrimshank’

In my defense,
It’s raining and on a rainy day
You sleep, most naturally.
I understand I made promises.
There are many things to do:
Laundry, paperwork, the bills,
Some writing, some more writing,
A picture I promised you I’d draw.

I’ve got a two lives worth of work
Sitting impatiently on my desk daring me
To choose my bed and its cheap comfort.
Well, an untested virtue is no virtue,
So I’ll have you know – I would never
Find or be chosen by the Holy Grail.
Life can wait another day, it’s raining-
And I’ve got a date in my dreams.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Productivity’

A quick little piece today, nothing much really – just some vent words. I hope you all have a good week! I’m making progress with NaNoWriMo, but not as much as I’d like. The next two weeks are going to be really busy for me, so hopefully I don’t get too far behind.

 

‘Productivity’

A productive day,
Waking up at 2pm
To get nothing done.
I’m watching the sun
Slink away, minutes collecting
Into days, transforming into
A month, then season,
Then finally a year.
I’m watching it all pass,
I wanted to do Something,
But the tiredness lasts
Longer than the hours
Spent tossing in bed.
I get up at 2pm,
And do nothing.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘All In Time’

It’s been a productive and good day, surprisingly – it wasn’t as productive as I’d like and I woke up with a migraine – but at least I got caught up on sleep. I ended up having a three day weekend at the cost of having only one day off next week. I’m also many thousand behind on word count for NaNoWriMo, but I don’t mine. I did a count and I’ve got almost 40 stand alone pieces written this month! Sadly, I haven’t been making much progress with the epic.

Today’s poem is a little lighter than usual! I hope you all enjoy!

 

‘All In Time’

Listen to me, I know you’re scared
Of the future and what terrible things
It holds for us, us and our unlucky lives-
But look me in the eyes, now, look at me.

My dear, it will be okay, I will be there.
The chickens may be coming home to roost
While we take off across this country,
But together we will suffer, together, unlucky.

It’s pandemonium, I know, the planning, our attempt
At planning for the unforeseen unavoidable future.
We’ve lived and will live to see worse things, Love,
The boxes are already piled at the door.

I’m ready, my Dear, I’m ready to leave
And make a new home in hell with you.
I know and understand your worries, and true,
It will be hard, it won’t be just us two.

We’ll roost, all of us, a little patchwork quilt
Of conflicting, damaged pasts and lives.
A little chaotic, off-centered family to try and forget
The blood made ones and their brash lies.

Come here, or I will come there, in time, in time.
Listen to me, it will be just fine all in time, I will
Work together with you to make your home mine.
All our little messes will come together, it’ll be alright.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Envy’

I wanted to write more today, but work was exhausting. Luckily, I’ve got a three day weekend – at the cost of a single day off next week. We’ve got to prepare for the holidays at work and next week is when things start to really pick up. I’m going to try and catch up with my writing over the next three days. I’m roughly 10,000 words behind – though 50,000 isn’t my true goal, it is a nice number to aim for.

Today’s poem is.. fun. Personally, it’s hard to recognize when I’m envious. I always just end up thinking I dislike a person and not figuring out why until much later. I’m glad I can catch it – because I know it’s not something essential to whomever I’m envious of, I don’t enjoy disliking people for no good reason.

 

‘Envy’

You’re everything I want to be-
I’m growing envy, green envy, thorns
On a rose bush of admiration warding me
Away. I’ve only to see you to feel nervousness,
Dark and meek, depression rooting in.
I’m lacking in everything I promised myself
When I dreamed of what I’d grow to be,
Yet haven’t, I haven’t even come close.

I’m a disappointment, I see it, you see it-
So talk all harsh and cruel to me, show me
What an endless disappointment I am
At all these attempts I make to play pretend.
I’m strong and helpless, looking shallowly
For anyone’s sweet attention to spend.
Hate me and let me know it,
Make me face the facts that I bend.

I’m tired, and you’re bored of it.
Envy, it’s envy that makes me this way
How subtly in control of everything you know
You want and accept you want, while I juggle
These groundless and inconsistent feelings.
You’re better for your ability to admit and own up
To the thing that is my shameless, secret sin-
My indecent willingness to play pretend.

 

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Lost As A Moth’

Writing was a little difficult today, but I’m tired of only making progress every other day. I have been a little under the weather recently, but I think I can work through it. It’ll help that I have the weekend off (to my knowledge), so I can get some rest.

Anyway, onward to today’s poem. This one was originally sitting around in fragments for the last few months and I finally pieced something together. I hope you all enjoy!

‘I Am Lost as A Moth’

At some point, at least once a month
I am as lost as a moth looking for the moon.
I will end up on my bedroom floor staring
At my bedroom ceiling reciting and practicing
All the words which will never leave my throat.

What the hell am I doing, I will ask
Myself and yet no one in particular, because
I know absolutely but my incompetence in basic
Living as a functional human being, so let me-

So let me sit like the moths do at midnight
On the wall trapped inside a house with bright lights
That I thought all too soon must have been something
Resembling the moon – Let my heart and wings flutter.

Let me stutter to the beat of my dusty, battered wings –
I’m full of life, I’m so terribly full of life and it feels
Incomprehensible not being able to do or know what to do
Except fling myself into fire in an attempt of deliverance.

 

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Two Steps Backwards’

I’m so sorry, I skipped another day. I’ve been getting migraines off and on these last few months and it’s been very exhausting. Today’s wasn’t so bad, and after work and a quick nap I was able to write quite a bit. I’m still very behind on my word count, but at this point I don’t mind. I just want to finish all the fragments of poems I’ve got sitting around before it’s 2018.
Anyway, onward today’s poem. I know I said I was going to try to pull out some more upbeat stuff, but well, that’s easier said than done. I hope you all enjoy this one regardless!

 

‘Two Steps Backwards’

I know all too well who I am,
What I look like, how I dress,
My favorite foods, my limitlessness-
That I’ve limited in the name of names.

I’ve got it all down to a schedule,
A time and place I’ve got to be
To be me – what I need to do to meet
My quota to be self-knowing.

Shy, Angry, and fundamentally Organized –
I am driven to not look people in the eyes
Not even myself in the bathroom mirror-
Let the steam fog up so I don’t have to see.

Discordant. Disturbed. Dissociated.
I need to put it in place, any place
Inside of me where it can’t be seen.
I know all too well who I am.

I know also who and what I want to be,
And in the act of self-care I decided
To ignore self-love and chose instead to love
The limited limitlessness I’ve created for me.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Laundry Day’

Whoops! Looks like I forgot to hit post on this one yesterday – So sorry about that! I’m afraid not much writing got done these last few days, as I’ve been plagued by headaches.

‘Laundry Day’

If I could just
Strip myself of this mentality
And let it fall like well worn cloths
Straight onto my bedroom floor.
I’d pick it up two days later
To throw it in the wash,
And after the cycle is well and done
I’d hang it out back on the cheap nylon rope
Strung taut between two lazy trees-
It needs some of that fresh, cold breeze.
I’d let it hang there for hours or days
Until I remember most likely too late
To bring it in and tuck it comfortably
In the back forgotten corner of my closet.

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘The Day Of Quiet’

Woke up late and had a killer headache most of today. Didn’t write much, sadly.
As a introductory note: the other day I had a really weird day at work.

 

 

‘The Day Of Quiet’

It’s a quiet day, too quiet
With all these people everywhere
Getting their coffee and baked goods.
It’s early morning work time rush
Yet no one is rushing with their usual chatter.
The gas at the pump is full and busy
But they’re all slowly repeating the same
Mundane task with indifference and silence.
It’s October, but it’s not that cold,
But the bodies lining up at the register
Are not anything I could call warm.
They give half smiles that look too worn, and
I’m beginning to think that no matter how much icing
I’ve smudged on my apron or sugar I’ve poured
In my coffee and tea will make this day sweet.
We all seem to need something more subtle
Than sugar or sleep.

 

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.