Shadow of May – Day Six – ‘Terribly Lucky”

Sorry this is so late! The last two days I’ve been working 15 hour shifts, which means when I got home I barely had the energy to draw any cards, let alone write.
Today there should be three pieces from me, though I may only get two done if I’m being honest with myself.. On the bright side, because of how much I worked the previous two days I got to have today and tomorrow off. Most of today was spent catching up on sleep..

Anyway, today’s Shadow of May questions were: What am I thinking and feeling? How is my environment?

‘Terribly Lucky’

Run away, I want to run away.
Just run away from all the little mistakes
I’ve made, like becoming a person people
All mistake me to be – so happy, so joyous.
The person I have built them to expect of me
I want it gone. I want to be free, to exist as a child,
With raw potential and hope, without anxiety –
The social expectations and implications.

It’s good to get out of your comfort zone
True, and that’s my problem, I’m here,
Static on the radio, no movement, no music.
Sometimes it’s best to leave, for sanity’s sake.
Burn your bridges when you get to them,
Set fire to your hope and dreams-
Only to pray a phoenix is born from the ashes
Singing praise for the things you left behind to grow.

I am blessed with some sort of luck.
I’ve just enough luck to pay basic bills
And feed myself five out of seven days.
It’s the little bits of mental chaos that eat at me
That consume me, the “What Should I Be’s”
The forced stability from people who were never
Young, futureless and forced to live a promised lie
About the age you were going to be happy with hard work.

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