Shadow of May – Day Twenty – ‘All My Worthless Anger’

Look at this! Not late! Crazy right? I don’t know how it happened but I got it out on time – impressive since I worked all day today and didn’t get home until 10pm! Today’s Shadow of May question asked: What provokes me to anger? Why?. A very loaded question – I try not to get angry often, but when I do I am a thing possessed. Today’s piece took an interesting turn…

‘All My Worthless Anger’

I’ve been angry the day I found out
My dreams had been sold to me taxed twice
At inflated prices and interest drawn high-
Pay while you’re young enough to take a loan
And you’ll pay the price every hour you live.

I’ve been pointlessly angry at the future,
Unable to commit myself to anything, because
Because, I believe I was sold a future that failed-
I bought it under the promise, the idea, the dream
That it would get better in time, things would be fixed,
Things could be fixed.. Band-aids on the bullet holes
This terrible world is being riddled with day after day.

My worthless anger is half anxiety and half grief,
Stirred twice, poured out, mixed again and again
Until it’s more inedible than it was to begin with.
How dare I ever think I could afford to dream?
I am to blame, they taught me at fifteen, I should’ve
Know to invest in something less real and more obscene.
What is decent living, a decent life lived at minimum wage-
The world, where I stand, no longer carries such futile things.

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