Mid-November Update!

Time has really been escaping me – I hit a bit of a block in writing from exhaustion and work. As it is officially the Holiday season in the States, my work schedule became very inconsistent. We need at least one person in the kitchen at all times, not counting our bi-weekly truck days and audit times, but it’s also suggested to take time off to visit family during this time. As there are only four of us working the kitchen the movement anytime someone takes time off we have to completely redo the schedule to keep coverage. So the last two weeks I’ve been covering random days and times.

As of right now, I’m in the middle of getting packed to go North to visit family for three days. Before I leave I’m going to try and queue up some poetry I’ve written – I’ve plenty of of pieces, I’ve just been dead tired and not all of them are.. good (in my opinion). I’ve also been getting no-where with Destiny – which sucks, but it happens.

So sorry for the sudden disappearance! Hope you all are doing alright!

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NaNoWriMo – ‘Scrimshank’

It’s been a good day. It was raining when I got off work this morning,and after a quick unexpected nap I hung out with a friend. We mostly got coffee and prepped for an upcoming Starfinder campaign that’ll be starting sometime in December. It also helps my mood, but not my wallet, that I bought two books I didn’t need.

Today’s poem is actually a fun little piece I wrote using today’s word of the day as a jumping point. To scrimshank is to avoid one’s obligations or share of work – aka, to shirk duties.

 

‘Scrimshank’

In my defense,
It’s raining and on a rainy day
You sleep, most naturally.
I understand I made promises.
There are many things to do:
Laundry, paperwork, the bills,
Some writing, some more writing,
A picture I promised you I’d draw.

I’ve got a two lives worth of work
Sitting impatiently on my desk daring me
To choose my bed and its cheap comfort.
Well, an untested virtue is no virtue,
So I’ll have you know – I would never
Find or be chosen by the Holy Grail.
Life can wait another day, it’s raining-
And I’ve got a date in my dreams.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

October Update

Not sure if I can call this an October Update when I’m posting it on the last day of October, but I’m going to anyway.

Unfortunately, This month’s plan to post everyday went out the window. As I switched jobs my schedule ended up a little more chaotic than anticipated. This is the first week that I’ve been given a schedule my boss thinks my be my official one – I’m going to be the opener. Downside, I’ve got to wake up at 4am for work, but on the bright side I have the ability to have a social life which is not something I had much of at the old job because of conflicting hours with my friends. I’m still getting use to a new sleep schedule, and so I’m more tired than anything – but that’s beside the point.

Starting tomorrow is NaNoWriMo – National Novel Writing Month. I’m not going to be writing a novel so much as another collection of poems, or two. I hope to finish an Epic I started as a Divine Poetry challenge back in 2015. Three of the six parts are finished, although they need editing, and two of those three are posted here. I might be redefining what makes a ‘part’ of the epic or adding extra parts – the challenge originally called for only six. I won’t be posting the epic here though! Even if I get it all written I don’t want it out and about without editing, plus I plan to make it very long. Right now the three parts are at a word count of almost two thousand. Moth-Like. came to a word count of 9,399 overall without the afterword. I plan for Destiny to be a novel length poem. I also have had on the back burner another novel length poem called Astera that’s been sitting at 1,500 for the last five years… and that’s just the tip of it, the introduction, you could say. But I won’t be looking at Astera for another year or two, sadly.

This coming month I will be posting though! I’m going to be doing three different writing sessions a day – but posting only one. I’ll be working on the epic (if it can be called that), Destiny, as well as writing two stand alone poems of which I’ll choose to post one. It seems like a lot, but I have a lot of fragments for writing laying around and work has finally calmed down some. Plus, late March 2018 I’m moving across country and I want to publish one more book by then. I’ve three different possible book themes drawn up and I need to start making them more solid so that’s part of my NaNo.

I look forward to seeing all of you again and the things I will create! I hope you enjoy the coming month!

Daily Card Pull – The Wheel, reversed – ‘Bitter Bones’

So this was yesterdays card – I wrote it between jobs but didn’t post it because by the time I finished my final day at the night job I was feeling a little dead. The card I pulled was The Wheel of Fortune in reverse which is a card signifying bad luck and misfortune. Sure enough, it was a tough day despite little joys. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get today’s and tomorrows out. For now I’d best head to sleep for I begin work at 5am.

 

‘Bitter Bones’

Today could’ve been a good day
Like no other, sprinkled with little blessings
Little joys found like leaving a job
I couldn’t stand anymore,
Being praised and seeing old friends,
Treating myself to coffee.

It all went so smooth, so well, yet
Lingering it all hurt. I woke up with the hurt,
A rotting somewhere around the knees and ankles.
The ache in my bones bluntly reminding me
Not all my days will be lived equally.
It was a sweet day with a bitter aftertaste.

I wanted to live it all fully, gleefully, but
All those simple little things were tainted by
My inability to focus, to busy trying to not fail
At everything I attempted, such as laughing
At a joke instead of wincing, and complaining
How today was a bit rougher than I wished.

 

 

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Daily Card Pull – 4 of Cups – ‘Tea Apathy’

It’s been a day. A very, very chaotic day – neither good nor bad, just.. busy. Today’s card of the day was the 4 of Cups, a card warning against apathy, disconnectedness, and contemplating too much on things – an accurate warning for me today.

 

‘Tea Apathy’

Busted knuckles match the pink and red
Flowers floating on the china of my cup-
A nice honeyed cup of lavender and Earl Grey
For when my days become a little too fucked up.

It’s a nice cup, solid but never stays hot enough.
I always forget it to the point of near cold, lukewarm,
With a bitter aftertaste because I left the leaves in to burn,
Again, I left the to burn while I lost myself in another brainstorm.

Look at this cup, arching handle to meet my hand,
Blushes of flowers, stems, and leaves – a life of peace.
I’m going to make it empty, look at me as I make it empty.
Heartbeat to heartbreak, swallowing to smothering.
Watch the time lapse between the tea cooling and souring and me
Sitting apathetic to what’s inside or out, far-eyed and wondering.

 

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Daily Card Pull – The Devil – ‘Hungry Devil’

Today’s card pull was The Devil, a card symbolizing materialism, excess, being chained, but also playfulness. Today after closing at work my housemate and sister went to the store to pick up originally just band-aids (because I’m clumsy), yet I came home with more than just band-aids…

 

‘Hungry Devil’

Hungry Devil, such a hungry devil
I’ve come to be – every paycheck is spent
Twice a month prowling all of them, everywhere,
From the convenient Mom&Pops shoppes
To the super centers without windows.
I stalk between their aisles picking up this
And also that – setting most back
Half-haphazardly.
I’m determined to find
What newest flavor, newest treat
My mind and stomach so desire.
The more items I toss into the cart
The more my wallet lightens and cries, but
I, the Hungry Devil, am eyeing my next prize.

 

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Daily Card Pull – 10 of Wands – ‘Keeping On’

Today’s card was the 10 of Wands, a card representing responsibility, accomplishment, and also burdens. Funny enough, I actually worked myself sick at my morning job and ended up missing my night job.

 

‘Keeping On’

I’ve got to keep on keeping on
In this long lasting, never ending summer heat.
I’m just trying to keep on keeping on
Determined to keep standing my own two feet.

I’ve got hours to go, work to do, more work to do,
Money to compete for, money to save, money to lose.
I’ve numb arms, numb hands, head fog, the blues-
It’s just another day and I’ve got to keep on,
Keep on going, going, going because I’ve got
Everything and nothing left to lose.
Sweet ambition and sweet addition-
I want to keep on keeping on doing
What they tell me I gotta do to succeed.

 

 

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Daily Card Pull – 7 of Wands, reversed – ‘Wordless’

I’m back! Kinda. I got caught up with life – been working two full time jobs back to back. Next Monday, October 9th, should be the last day at my old job. I’m super excited to have free time again.

I wasn’t sure what to do for this month, but I miss writing. I figured I’d post poems that are based on what tarot card I pull for the day. Today’s was the 7 of Wands in the reverse position. It’s a card about feeling overwhelmed, with your confidence destroyed, and ready  to give up – a great way to start this month (three days late).

‘Wordless’

I’ve got that boredom that curiosity breeds.
Tired of all this thinking and sitting emptily
Day in and day out, depressed because I wonder-
But I don’t wonder enough to do anything with it.

So I sit here. I’m at work, but I’m not at work.
I go home to work some more on scraps of somethings.
I work all day, but I don’t work at all. I can’t quite focus
With my mind being blank and heavy, all these paralyzed thoughts.

I’m curious and also dreadful of everything like
How come it feels I’m sleeping too much and too little
At the same time, every day a contradiction and exhausting.
I read a book for some two-three sentences,

And pause for two days to think about other things-
Little things, like, how does one pronounce
‘Depression’ without opening their mouth the slightest,
Or if you can communicate to someone the impact
They had in mindlessly existing with you in some single moment.

All of this, can I say all of this without, somehow,
Actually having to interact with them outside all those
Empty and make-believe conversations in my head?
I’m merely bored and curious of time and the way it seems
To take months for me to feel like I’ve lived a day.

 

 

 If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

 

Word of the Day – Depredate – ‘Noon Time Sun’

Today’s word of the day is depredate, a verb signifying to lay waste, plunder, or ravage. It’s been a very interesting and trying summer. I hope everyone else’s was much calmer and relaxing.

‘Noon Time Sun’

I know a woman who loves with spite-
Immoral all the decisions she does not make,
Hateful all the people she does not love.

She’s the noon time sun, and she’ll depredate
Everything left out under her eyes, her eyes which
Will blind you if you ever try to meet her head on.

It’s been a hellish summer like every other,
But this time it’s also something different, something
Inane that’s begun to drive me mad with regret.

I know a woman who takes no criticism,
But agrees she can be petty after she slams
All the doors leading in and within our little apartment.

Everything bakes beneath her flares of rage – it’s petty,
Yes. she knows it’s petty, all those rages from the cup on the counter
Left out by herself, but she forgot so it’s mine, always mine, again.

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Word of the Day – Splenetic – ‘Tuck Me In’

Classes have started back up so work is a little crazy. We got an unexpected 1,300 students for dinner alone these last three days and lets just say the cafeteria’s stock of food is running a bit low.

Today’s Word of the Day is Splenetic, as in something marked by a bad temper, malevolence, or spite.

 

‘Tuck Me In’

Tuck me in bed with all these
Ill formed thoughts and invisible diseases.
My heart can’t take it, I can’t
Take it – It strains me, I am tense,
A kettle steaming and pushing out huffs
Before it begins to scream.

I don’t look sick enough to act this sick,
Though you can hear my legs creak like rusty
Door hinges, a high pitched rumble and screech
Where there’s simply not enough love, apparently,
To oil them into an easy, active life.
If drink a bit more water I’ll be well.

It’s cute, I’m cute, I’ve been told
How my body breaking down under me
Is something for them to protect me from, yet
Their self-projected empathy finds it inconvenient
When they want to go out to play and my body,
My mind can’t go out and play with them.

I’m a broken playground swing, and it’s precious
The memories people imagine and re-imagine of me,
Years ago before it all started to go to hell.
I’m a child indefinitely, except when they want me to be
Something more wholesome and together and.. less sick.
So let’s tuck me in bed, again, and tell me to get well.

 

If you’re bored and like my writing try checking out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here for $8.99.