NaPoWriMo – Day Twenty-Nine – ‘Midnight Mirror, Mirror’

The prompt for day Twenty-Nine was to pick a poem from the Plath Poetry Project’s calendar and write something based on that poem. I’m not a huge fan of Plath, to be honest, but they have some wonderful prompts based on her poetry. In the end I chose APRIL 19, 1962: “ELM”. It included three prompts which I tried to weave together and use as a whole – Write a poem embracing whatever burning ambitions you cannot suppress, write about a beautiful thing you suffer, and write an iamb three times in a row and then write to it as an ending. Here is the result,  I hope you all enjoy your day!

 

‘Midnight Mirror, Mirror’

I looked into the mirror last night,
If only I hadn’t looked-
I mean, I didn’t like what I saw.

It showed me some sugar and spice,
But it was cayenne, basal, garlic, and chives
Mixed into honey – a concoction I don’t want, and
I doubt you want it too.
I saw my eyes, black or brown, a color
More like a shade of half and half in coffee

At midnight, except there’s not quite enough
Half and half to make it decent, and the sugar, well,
Is that questionably spiced honey.

It was the mirror, mirror staring at me
Staring at me questioning the bones where muscles
Had every right to be, and the fingers in my ribs and scars-

I was trying to find dreams in my heart beat.
It was a long night going morning, no sleep, too hot,
The dog was crying outside my door, and I heard

I heard the ice cream truck stop outside,
Music trying to charm kittens close
At 2am, but I was looking in the mirror trying to

Find myself and what it is inside that rests so uneasily
Violent these nights.
I think I did, it was a imbalance of my ingredients.

Too much spice or sugar, I’m not sure,
But I was served with snips of eels, snails,
And some rattle snake tails, it soured my stomach.

It was a saucy combo for anyone.
Mirror, mirror, if only I could’ve looked away.
To only, to only, to only look away.

 

 

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

Advertisements

GloPoWriMo – Day Twenty – ‘A Dirty Little Thought’

For day twenty we were given the prompt to write with rebellion in mind, I chose to rebel against my style and comfort – I do not usual write or prefer to write very short poems.

‘A Dirty Little Thought’

A modern day heart break
Is when your heart can’t break.
You’ve got apathetic eyes to see,
Can’t even be bothered to love
The person you want to be.

 

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here for $6.99.

GloPoWriMo – Day Seven – ‘Categories’

So today’s prompt was a little odd and complex, but refreshing to do. I will admit this one is kind of a mess. The prompt was to make a list of the different identities I have and then split them into two groups: Those that make me feel powerful and those that make me feel insecure. After those two groups are identified I was then to write a poem with the two groups having a conversation. I don’t like the current title so I may rename it in the future.. Anyway,  I hope you all enjoy the chaos!

 

‘Categories’

I don’t want you to forget
Who you are,
Who you’ve been.
There’s just been so much to learn
It’s hard to think about sometimes when alone-
Comparing ourselves to characters in books,
How we’ve grown and developed,
What’s our theme, what’s our setting,
Why are we acting this way
What are we trying to save.

There’s so much to know
And everything to explain.
We’ve grown so strong in recent years,
Comfortable, in many ways, a King among
The worlds in our mind. I understand but,
I don’t want you to feel less, forgotten, or ashamed
Of emotions.

But I am – and we know it, no matter how good
We are about making things okay that are better left
Forgotten. We can be the best, you are the best, I know,
A king of your own, ruler of body, mind, heart, but
Listen – I was never the one ashamed, just weary and scared.

I grew lost in existing with my head beside the stars.
I am lost constantly trying to find boxes to perfectly place
Gender, Sexuality, Religion, and Family – where do I stand
Where do I want to go, what to be, how can I fix myself
Before others try more vehemently to fix me.

The past is the past, we both know, but
I can never forget or forgive –
No matter how many books I read,
No matter how many papers I write,
No matter how hard or much I work,
Where we started,
What we started,
And where we’ve been:
A sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend,
A problem child, an American, a quick learner, a hard worker,
An ambivert, asexual, greyromantic, genderless, deadheaded mess.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

GloPoWriMo – Day One – ‘Settle Down’

Today’s prompt for GloPoWriMo is to write a poem about a secrete shame or pleasure. After this there’s two more posts scheduled for today.

‘Settle Down’

Stacked, straight, set in place,
Everything has a place, I must
Count, recount, check, double check,
Measure, organize, dust, clean, dream-
Everything has a place as ordinary as
A typical life typically gives and sees.

Soft and quiet, gentle and gently-
I was born into this life loud and mean,
So let me smooth my scars, lick my dreams,
Learn to live just enough and find my place
Among my books, my knickknacks, my computer,
My bed freshly made everyday when I can
Be bothered to get up and count the stars or clouds,
Black coffee lightly sweetened waiting in my hand
As I mentally set it all in place. I set the world in place.

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Unprompted – Making Art

Let’s start the year off with writer’s block. It’s usual a blessing in disguise because if I wasn’t questioning my ability to write before, then I sure am now. It’s not as bad as it was though – for a solid month now I haven’t been able to really get anything on paper that I liked. I didn’t want to share or post pieces I didn’t enjoy on the premise nobody probably would enjoy them. I’ve a lot of editing ahead of me, that’s for sure.

 

‘Making Art’

Nothing quite flows easily tonight
But everything comes to together
In time, in tired, long awaited time.

Whether it’s weaving or writing,
Art begins first as a dream, drawn out
It becomes something a little more-

But also something a little less perfect than
The dream it originally was dreamed,
Such is reality with all its law abiding imperfections.

I’ve got stories in my head, pictures in my eyes,
And yet I cannot get it just right in the moment
My pencil touches down, and it’s more than frustrating.

The simple amount of time it takes
Almost isn’t worth it, a skill of endless possibilities
Taking endless patience and more than endless practice.

It feels unfair, because it feels just right there
On the tips of my fingers and tongue, waiting for me
To do something with it other than spend long nights blankly.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Productivity’

A quick little piece today, nothing much really – just some vent words. I hope you all have a good week! I’m making progress with NaNoWriMo, but not as much as I’d like. The next two weeks are going to be really busy for me, so hopefully I don’t get too far behind.

 

‘Productivity’

A productive day,
Waking up at 2pm
To get nothing done.
I’m watching the sun
Slink away, minutes collecting
Into days, transforming into
A month, then season,
Then finally a year.
I’m watching it all pass,
I wanted to do Something,
But the tiredness lasts
Longer than the hours
Spent tossing in bed.
I get up at 2pm,
And do nothing.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘All In Time’

It’s been a productive and good day, surprisingly – it wasn’t as productive as I’d like and I woke up with a migraine – but at least I got caught up on sleep. I ended up having a three day weekend at the cost of having only one day off next week. I’m also many thousand behind on word count for NaNoWriMo, but I don’t mine. I did a count and I’ve got almost 40 stand alone pieces written this month! Sadly, I haven’t been making much progress with the epic.

Today’s poem is a little lighter than usual! I hope you all enjoy!

 

‘All In Time’

Listen to me, I know you’re scared
Of the future and what terrible things
It holds for us, us and our unlucky lives-
But look me in the eyes, now, look at me.

My dear, it will be okay, I will be there.
The chickens may be coming home to roost
While we take off across this country,
But together we will suffer, together, unlucky.

It’s pandemonium, I know, the planning, our attempt
At planning for the unforeseen unavoidable future.
We’ve lived and will live to see worse things, Love,
The boxes are already piled at the door.

I’m ready, my Dear, I’m ready to leave
And make a new home in hell with you.
I know and understand your worries, and true,
It will be hard, it won’t be just us two.

We’ll roost, all of us, a little patchwork quilt
Of conflicting, damaged pasts and lives.
A little chaotic, off-centered family to try and forget
The blood made ones and their brash lies.

Come here, or I will come there, in time, in time.
Listen to me, it will be just fine all in time, I will
Work together with you to make your home mine.
All our little messes will come together, it’ll be alright.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Envy’

I wanted to write more today, but work was exhausting. Luckily, I’ve got a three day weekend – at the cost of a single day off next week. We’ve got to prepare for the holidays at work and next week is when things start to really pick up. I’m going to try and catch up with my writing over the next three days. I’m roughly 10,000 words behind – though 50,000 isn’t my true goal, it is a nice number to aim for.

Today’s poem is.. fun. Personally, it’s hard to recognize when I’m envious. I always just end up thinking I dislike a person and not figuring out why until much later. I’m glad I can catch it – because I know it’s not something essential to whomever I’m envious of, I don’t enjoy disliking people for no good reason.

 

‘Envy’

You’re everything I want to be-
I’m growing envy, green envy, thorns
On a rose bush of admiration warding me
Away. I’ve only to see you to feel nervousness,
Dark and meek, depression rooting in.
I’m lacking in everything I promised myself
When I dreamed of what I’d grow to be,
Yet haven’t, I haven’t even come close.

I’m a disappointment, I see it, you see it-
So talk all harsh and cruel to me, show me
What an endless disappointment I am
At all these attempts I make to play pretend.
I’m strong and helpless, looking shallowly
For anyone’s sweet attention to spend.
Hate me and let me know it,
Make me face the facts that I bend.

I’m tired, and you’re bored of it.
Envy, it’s envy that makes me this way
How subtly in control of everything you know
You want and accept you want, while I juggle
These groundless and inconsistent feelings.
You’re better for your ability to admit and own up
To the thing that is my shameless, secret sin-
My indecent willingness to play pretend.

 

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Lost As A Moth’

Writing was a little difficult today, but I’m tired of only making progress every other day. I have been a little under the weather recently, but I think I can work through it. It’ll help that I have the weekend off (to my knowledge), so I can get some rest.

Anyway, onward to today’s poem. This one was originally sitting around in fragments for the last few months and I finally pieced something together. I hope you all enjoy!

‘I Am Lost as A Moth’

At some point, at least once a month
I am as lost as a moth looking for the moon.
I will end up on my bedroom floor staring
At my bedroom ceiling reciting and practicing
All the words which will never leave my throat.

What the hell am I doing, I will ask
Myself and yet no one in particular, because
I know absolutely but my incompetence in basic
Living as a functional human being, so let me-

So let me sit like the moths do at midnight
On the wall trapped inside a house with bright lights
That I thought all too soon must have been something
Resembling the moon – Let my heart and wings flutter.

Let me stutter to the beat of my dusty, battered wings –
I’m full of life, I’m so terribly full of life and it feels
Incomprehensible not being able to do or know what to do
Except fling myself into fire in an attempt of deliverance.

 

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Two Steps Backwards’

I’m so sorry, I skipped another day. I’ve been getting migraines off and on these last few months and it’s been very exhausting. Today’s wasn’t so bad, and after work and a quick nap I was able to write quite a bit. I’m still very behind on my word count, but at this point I don’t mind. I just want to finish all the fragments of poems I’ve got sitting around before it’s 2018.
Anyway, onward today’s poem. I know I said I was going to try to pull out some more upbeat stuff, but well, that’s easier said than done. I hope you all enjoy this one regardless!

 

‘Two Steps Backwards’

I know all too well who I am,
What I look like, how I dress,
My favorite foods, my limitlessness-
That I’ve limited in the name of names.

I’ve got it all down to a schedule,
A time and place I’ve got to be
To be me – what I need to do to meet
My quota to be self-knowing.

Shy, Angry, and fundamentally Organized –
I am driven to not look people in the eyes
Not even myself in the bathroom mirror-
Let the steam fog up so I don’t have to see.

Discordant. Disturbed. Dissociated.
I need to put it in place, any place
Inside of me where it can’t be seen.
I know all too well who I am.

I know also who and what I want to be,
And in the act of self-care I decided
To ignore self-love and chose instead to love
The limited limitlessness I’ve created for me.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.