NaPoWriMo – Day Twenty-Four – ‘Rum For Your Funeral’

The twenty-fourth prompt was to write an elegy with a hopeful outlook! Technically, I wrote elegy with Among the Stars in Her Anger, but that doesn’t really have a very… uplifting ending. This one isn’t the brightest piece I’ve written by far, but it is for the same person. It is also a lot longer in than I’d originally planned.

‘Rum For Your Funeral’

It was all that coffee and sugar,
The shouting down the hall
About the local newspaper,
What Nancy upstairs was doing,
How the garden was coming along.

It was all those things and more,
The Elvis Presley chocolate, and
Thanksgiving turkey cooked too long,
It was your tin can of a car that you
Sped along in destination to destination.
Living life loud and fast.

But I heard, quietly with fact,
Everything went so smoothly
In an unexpected way on your big day.
It was cloudless, the weather ideal,
There was even a breeze in July.

The pictures were minimal, but perfect.
No one blinked or moved too quickly.
It was all very official and practiced and small.
There was not even enough people there
Who were expected to cry or make a scene.

But they’d heard you liked purple
And all flowers were equal in your eyes,
So the directer brought you a bouquet
With sweet peas and zinnias in thanks
For that oddly absent crowd.

I heard, much later, down the line,
That only two people made it other than you.
I wasn’t even told, no invite to flash and show,
Yet of the rest of the family and friends only two
Were well behaved enough to go, but maybe
That was an wild exaggeration in memory
Of the boisterous, unruly person you always were.

I took a shot of rum in my coffee for your funeral,
And quietly agreed it was lame, your final big day.
I remembered all your laughing like thunder,
The baked bread, diet Pepsi, food your doctor
Would swear something fierce if he saw you eating.

And, I remember the arguing and slammed doors.
The last time I saw you, all dressed up to a T
In the court as you took my side, backing me
Against family, because of what family can do.
You knew, you saw, you talked when they refused.
Why not let you make some drama on your way?
They may have let you die quietly, such a shame,
But now you lay loud in your grave.

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

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GloPoWriMo – Day Eleven – ‘Late for Tomorrow’

Day eleven of GloPoWriMo had the prompt to write a poem that addresses the future.

‘Late For Tomorrow’

Look, I wrote this poem late
Waiting to address a tomorrow
That never really managed to come.

I woke up to three different days
Thinking today I will lay down the pen
And my foot – I will conquer my future
With first my thoughts and then actions!

Except everyday I kept hitting snooze on my alarm
Until it was three clock, and by then I was hungry
With an empty mind as to what I might want to eat.

By the time I’d scoured up something to snack on
Dinner time was hovering above me and
I had to commit to a full meal, at least one for the day.

Eventually, hours later, I got settled, got the paper, the pens,
My computer turned on with soft indie rock playing.
Everything was set, but the cat couldn’t get comfortable

In my lap and so he sat on my bed and yelled,
Until finally I joined him in watching tv while he dozed,
As cats will do, in the square middle of my chest.
I wanted to write something as deep as I was late

To writing this, but I guess the best thing I can now say is
Sometimes days you try and some days you win,
But either way we all end up living day to day,
And sometimes I wake up already late for tomorrow.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Unprompted – ‘Recognition’

I’ve spent the last few days getting my files in order, and let me tell you I didn’t think I had written as much as I did in this last year. In 2017 I wrote and finished 150 pieces, most of them nothing too great, but learning experience all the more. I want to start 2018 on the right foot and keep writing, so the plan is to post three times a week at the very least. I want to continue developing my writing and I greatly appreciate all the people who’ve taken their time to read my posts. Please, don’t feel shy about commenting! I’d love to hear what you enjoyed and why.

As for today I want to share one the last pieces I wrote in 2017, to bridge the gap between the two years.

 

‘Recognition’

Recognize me for I have lived
Despite it all,
The desperate attempts
Both at living and dying.
The world can be so beautiful,
But ugly
In the same breath of wind.

Have you ever looked
Into the eye of a tornado?
It is godly in its existence,
Seemly so cruel, but it’s just doing
What it was created to do.
Live.
Recognize me,

Recognize yourself,
You might not have seen the eye of a tornado,
Or even seen just a tornado waltzing
It’s way from one field to another,
But I know, as undoubtedly you do,
That you have seen casual cruelty.
Be proud and recognize yourself
When you next see you
Staring back from the mirror
Or some picture.

 
If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘All In Time’

It’s been a productive and good day, surprisingly – it wasn’t as productive as I’d like and I woke up with a migraine – but at least I got caught up on sleep. I ended up having a three day weekend at the cost of having only one day off next week. I’m also many thousand behind on word count for NaNoWriMo, but I don’t mine. I did a count and I’ve got almost 40 stand alone pieces written this month! Sadly, I haven’t been making much progress with the epic.

Today’s poem is a little lighter than usual! I hope you all enjoy!

 

‘All In Time’

Listen to me, I know you’re scared
Of the future and what terrible things
It holds for us, us and our unlucky lives-
But look me in the eyes, now, look at me.

My dear, it will be okay, I will be there.
The chickens may be coming home to roost
While we take off across this country,
But together we will suffer, together, unlucky.

It’s pandemonium, I know, the planning, our attempt
At planning for the unforeseen unavoidable future.
We’ve lived and will live to see worse things, Love,
The boxes are already piled at the door.

I’m ready, my Dear, I’m ready to leave
And make a new home in hell with you.
I know and understand your worries, and true,
It will be hard, it won’t be just us two.

We’ll roost, all of us, a little patchwork quilt
Of conflicting, damaged pasts and lives.
A little chaotic, off-centered family to try and forget
The blood made ones and their brash lies.

Come here, or I will come there, in time, in time.
Listen to me, it will be just fine all in time, I will
Work together with you to make your home mine.
All our little messes will come together, it’ll be alright.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Daily Card Pull – 4 of Cups – ‘Tea Apathy’

It’s been a day. A very, very chaotic day – neither good nor bad, just.. busy. Today’s card of the day was the 4 of Cups, a card warning against apathy, disconnectedness, and contemplating too much on things – an accurate warning for me today.

 

‘Tea Apathy’

Busted knuckles match the pink and red
Flowers floating on the china of my cup-
A nice honeyed cup of lavender and Earl Grey
For when my days become a little too fucked up.

It’s a nice cup, solid but never stays hot enough.
I always forget it to the point of near cold, lukewarm,
With a bitter aftertaste because I left the leaves in to burn,
Again, I left the to burn while I lost myself in another brainstorm.

Look at this cup, arching handle to meet my hand,
Blushes of flowers, stems, and leaves – a life of peace.
I’m going to make it empty, look at me as I make it empty.
Heartbeat to heartbreak, swallowing to smothering.
Watch the time lapse between the tea cooling and souring and me
Sitting apathetic to what’s inside or out, far-eyed and wondering.

 

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Word of the Day – Serendipity – ‘Serendipity’

I couldn’t think of a better title for this poem other than the word I jumped off to write it. Serendipity is the faculty or phenomenon of finding valuable or agreeable things not sought for.

‘Serendipity’

Let’s love again for a moment or two-
Feel a little less fear, a little more ravenous.
Come out and into the rain, leave it all behind,
Again. Step off the porch, learn to not hide,
Learn to look that summer storm in the eyes.

Find a little serendipity, or if not, or if you can’t-
Let it find you with those hands shaking, heart breaking.
Find a tiny bit of bliss somewhere behind all your tears,
Tilt your head back and feel the rain drop past your ears.
I love you. I loved you. And I loved you more, once, I know.

What seems like yesterday was years ago,
You were a sweet rose tea – sweet, sweet serendipity.
I couldn’t love you enough in the past it seems,
But I could be happy if you could find happiness.
Good day. Good night. Goodbye, I pray,
Be happy and live a little more in the rain.

If you’re bored and like my writing try checking out my book Moth-Like.. It can be bought on Amazon here for $8.99. This is a piece that will be a cornerstone in my possible next book Roses.

Word of the Day – Inalienable – ‘Confession’

Today’s word of the day was inalienable, meaning incapable of being alienated, surrendered, or transferred. It took me so long to write this. I didn’t want to get political or sad, so I tried to make something beautiful, unfortuantely I feel it’s lacking… a lot. Maybe I’ll rewrite it when I’m not so tired and unfocused.

‘Confession’

We will never be wholly apart
Except in those rare darkening of the heart
Where we tend to feel so intolerable alone,
But watch now as the sky comes together
Before your eyes, the birds perched separate
Now sing together as the earth remembers to turn.
The sun, for us, dips and drops downward,
Down and into the next town a thousand miles away
Where it peaks to give another person who lives
A world apart and yet right beside you another day.

We may never meet
And yet, I remember in my insignificance
All my wasted words, pointless laughter-
Pain experienced alone, but shown in ink.
It stains, we stain, the universes and worlds
We’ll never see but briefly in another human.
I’ll confess. I am inspired by someone who thought
They were nothing important, and still do
Because I could never raise my heart to speak
And close the distance I thought was there.

Shadow of May – Day Twenty-Three – ‘Slowly, Tenderly’

Have I ever mentioned how hard it is for me to name things? Like, I’m terrible at it most days, but today I just couldn’t decide.. But I guess this will work. Today’s Shadow of May asked: What is my hatred to my energy levels?

 

‘Slowly, Tenderly’

I have learned, ever so slowly
To stay tender despite the bitterness
In the many years I’ve lived and seen.
I like believe the most terrible thing I can do
Is spit in their face by refusing to be mean.

Easily, I’ve grown to live and love
All those terribly disruptive emotions
That kinder people would find so distasteful-
All that negativity, the sour and bitter things,
Such as drowning in sadness and feeling hateful.

They’re a part of life, at least half of it, surely.
Emotions so strong and uncomfortable they sit heavily
Inside of you, in your stomach or lungs, on the tongue-
I enjoy them all in my own way, contemplating how it is
That they are there, waiting, but mostly left unsung.

They are so usually unsung, except in hate-
And it’s ironic what we’ll do to those who feel
A little less than human for more than a minute.
Tenderness comes from living painfully and knowing
That we can’t expect everyone to be perfectly absolute.

Shadow of May – Day Seventeen – ‘Living for the Littlest Things’

Just found out I’m missing this years Divine Poetry challenge, damn. I love that challenge.. But the month is over half way gone, there’s little chance I’d catch up. Anyway, today’s Shadow of May question is: How do I feel about death? (True story btw).

 

‘Living for the Littlest Things’

One time I dreamed that I died-
A heart attack while I slept,
It was unsurprising, it’d happen
Eventually, I’d always been sure.
My heart is the weakest thing about me.

I remember half-consciously worrying
As pain spiked in my chest, body numbing,
I slowed unspeakably down, I slowed so deeply
A blink was five minutes long, but I worried
Only for the handmade book I promised my sister.

I promised her a book for her birthday;
It was already almost three months late
And only half finished – I was so ashamed
That I was letting her down, I’d promised
Two-hundred fifty pages, front to cover.

It was only for her eyes! All the poems I’d refused
To share, all the little bits of life I didn’t ever want
To live or forget, the little sorrows and the little dreams.
All I dreamed of was lying in bed, thinking, while my heart stopped,
How much she’d hate me for leaving her a half-finished book.

Shadow of May – Day Fifteen – ‘All the Little Hurts’

Here is yesterday’s Shadow of May! I’m still a little sick – but I’m going to try and keep on top of these. I at least want to get through all 31! Even if I’m a bit behind in some areas – the challenge asks some very interesting questions… Yesterday’s question was: How do I perceive pain?

‘All the Little Hurts’

I’ve grown to hate the question,
“Who hurt you?” as if all the little hurts,
Many little hurts, many little things
That make a person over time can be pointed
To some single person to blame it all on.
Pain has become a natural part of my life,
It’s all the little lost hopes, the forgotten dreams-
All which hurt and have made me who I am today.
It has never been just a single person,
Someone tangible that I can be protected from.
I love how it’s never been that simple-
I would never have got here if it was.