Today’s NaNo went really well! I managed 1,710 words today – most of which was spent on the epic poem. I ended up writing 3 separate stand alone poems and figured this was the best of the lot. I’ve been going through old fragments I wrote down back in August to jump off of. I didn’t realize how many little pieces I’ve accumulated. I’m pretty sure I have enough to write with for the entire month. To give my hands a break I’ve also began drawing possible covers for the next collection I’m going to publish. Included above is the rough design for Roses. It’s a Cecile Brunner, a very beautiful climbing rose that the first section will be named after.
As for the explanation behind the poem for today. Last week was Asexuality awareness week, and a while back I began to make an odd list of things I’ve been called when people tried to explain asexuality away or allude to the fact that I’m a bit more queer than they’d like. I also had fun and made one or two of my own. It reminds my of the code words the media use to use when trying to avoid saying a character is gay. It can get a little ridiculous.
‘Purple My Spaded Heart’
We can’t just say things straight
So let me tell you what they say
About all the regrettable people like me:
I’m someone who’s forever uncertain,
Sleeps and dreams alone, every night
In my own bed, never adventurous enough
To test the covers of another’s.
I’m cold, though kind, and a distant look
Is always somewhere in my mind,
So queer, because they could swear I dream
But never of what the future must bring.
And I like neither the sunrise or the sunset,
Not a rose and chocolate person, no candles
On the dinner table, only one cup instead of two
For my morning coffee and tea with its minimal sugar.
There’s no roses in my rose garden,
No secret nooks to hide away into and love more
Naturally. It’s a shame, an unfortunate shame-
A pretty face, a handsome body, all willfully wasted.
I’ve got a purple spaded heart,
And I take no company. It’s lonely.
It must be. I know. I’ve been told so,
But maybe I just haven’t found the one.
If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.