Shadow Of May – Thursday Update – ‘Hibiscus Moon’

Back this week with another piece! I’ve been a little under the weather (mostly due to my POTS acting up), but I’m on the mend now. I’ve been at odds with sleep, so here’s a poem dedicated to that.

‘Hibiscus Moon’

Let me tell you about these
Hibiscus dreams I receive every night.
They are the acceptance I give every
Time I sleep – falling into the nothingness,
Tare-like void of a tired out existence.

These hibiscus dreams,
A sweet and sour sugar mix
Of thick, dark, red tea pumping
Through the lines of my consciousness
Like the blood in my slowing heart
As I drift into the fall.

Life is exhausting and I accpet
That I will be awake for most of it.

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

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Shadow of May – ‘Hard Sleep’

Today starts the first day that I am honestly attempting to post a weekly piece. Let’s see how long it lasts. This months poems will be jumping off questions from HillBilly Oracle’s May Tarot Challenge. I picking to publish pieces that come out half way decent. I hope you all enjoy!

‘Hard Sleep’

Find me another tree to hang from.
I am tired and want to sleep.
It has been a long road, my work
Almost complete – much more that I
Ever expected of me.

There’s good times ahead, so I promised myself
A big tree to make my bed between it’s leaves.
Night has fallen and I felt an ease on the breeze,
I found wine in the petals of daisies and dandelions
I stole orange honey from sleeping bees.

I drank to die, I drank to dream,
I drank and yet sleep eluded me
So I found myself hanging in a tree I stared
Sleepily out among the chattering woods.
I worked too hard to die in dreams.

 

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

NaPoWriMo – Day Twenty-Nine – ‘Midnight Mirror, Mirror’

The prompt for day Twenty-Nine was to pick a poem from the Plath Poetry Project’s calendar and write something based on that poem. I’m not a huge fan of Plath, to be honest, but they have some wonderful prompts based on her poetry. In the end I chose APRIL 19, 1962: “ELM”. It included three prompts which I tried to weave together and use as a whole – Write a poem embracing whatever burning ambitions you cannot suppress, write about a beautiful thing you suffer, and write an iamb three times in a row and then write to it as an ending. Here is the result,  I hope you all enjoy your day!

 

‘Midnight Mirror, Mirror’

I looked into the mirror last night,
If only I hadn’t looked-
I mean, I didn’t like what I saw.

It showed me some sugar and spice,
But it was cayenne, basal, garlic, and chives
Mixed into honey – a concoction I don’t want, and
I doubt you want it too.
I saw my eyes, black or brown, a color
More like a shade of half and half in coffee

At midnight, except there’s not quite enough
Half and half to make it decent, and the sugar, well,
Is that questionably spiced honey.

It was the mirror, mirror staring at me
Staring at me questioning the bones where muscles
Had every right to be, and the fingers in my ribs and scars-

I was trying to find dreams in my heart beat.
It was a long night going morning, no sleep, too hot,
The dog was crying outside my door, and I heard

I heard the ice cream truck stop outside,
Music trying to charm kittens close
At 2am, but I was looking in the mirror trying to

Find myself and what it is inside that rests so uneasily
Violent these nights.
I think I did, it was a imbalance of my ingredients.

Too much spice or sugar, I’m not sure,
But I was served with snips of eels, snails,
And some rattle snake tails, it soured my stomach.

It was a saucy combo for anyone.
Mirror, mirror, if only I could’ve looked away.
To only, to only, to only look away.

 

 

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

NaPoWriMo – Day Twenty-Seven – ‘A Monday Day’

For day twenty-seven we were given the prompt to use the tarot as a jumping point for inspiration. I used my daily tarot card to write this one (I couldn’t pick a card at will, I’m too indecisive). My card was the 7 of Wands, a card meaning perseverance, defensiveness, and maintaining control.

 

‘A Monday Day’

It’s been rough, like all the stars aligned
All at once to say loudly and clearly
Fuck You.

It has been a Monday sort of week,
All the days are Mondays and
I work the weekend too-

So I’m drinking coffee for breakfast.
Coffee for lunch and dinner, coffee like it’s
A miracle food that will get me through.

One day it’s going to be another Monday,
The last, first, and only Monday in the week.
Until then I’m just doing what I’ve got to do.

 

 

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

NaPoWriMo – Day Twenty-Three – ‘Something Wrong’

For the twenty-third day of NaPoWriMo the prompt was to write a poem based on am overheard phrase.

 

‘Something Wrong’

It’s never a good thing to overhear,
Not at home, not at work, definitely not
At the doctors when it’s just suppose to be
Another regular checkup, the them staring –

“There might be something wrong” is just
A little more honest than the occasional
I’m sorry, without the buts, just the apology
After something no one could have stopped.

“There might be something wrong…”
With what or whom, I don’t know. It’s vague,
It could be you, it could be me, but I heard it.
So probably me, sitting here drifting under water
Wondering if what I heard next was also for me.
“I wish I could be there for you.”

 

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

GloPoWriMo – Day Eleven – ‘Late for Tomorrow’

Day eleven of GloPoWriMo had the prompt to write a poem that addresses the future.

‘Late For Tomorrow’

Look, I wrote this poem late
Waiting to address a tomorrow
That never really managed to come.

I woke up to three different days
Thinking today I will lay down the pen
And my foot – I will conquer my future
With first my thoughts and then actions!

Except everyday I kept hitting snooze on my alarm
Until it was three clock, and by then I was hungry
With an empty mind as to what I might want to eat.

By the time I’d scoured up something to snack on
Dinner time was hovering above me and
I had to commit to a full meal, at least one for the day.

Eventually, hours later, I got settled, got the paper, the pens,
My computer turned on with soft indie rock playing.
Everything was set, but the cat couldn’t get comfortable

In my lap and so he sat on my bed and yelled,
Until finally I joined him in watching tv while he dozed,
As cats will do, in the square middle of my chest.
I wanted to write something as deep as I was late

To writing this, but I guess the best thing I can now say is
Sometimes days you try and some days you win,
But either way we all end up living day to day,
And sometimes I wake up already late for tomorrow.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

GloPoWriMo – Day Eight – ‘The Card Reader’

Today’s prompt for GloPoWriMo was to write a poem in which mysterious and magical things occur. This one was quite fun to write and I hope you all enjoy it!
In a few days (possible even tomorrow) a new chapbook of poetry, Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation, will be up on Amazon! It is exactly what it sounds like.

 

‘The Card Reader’

You came to me, you all do,
Asking question after question:
Will I find love?
Will I find money?
Do they love me? Can you make them?
How will I die?
What should I do?

Nobody ever asks what Gods dream of-
Their eyes slowly blinking closed,
Whole years just drowsy heartbeats,
Falling into sleep eventually
For an eternity or two.
Nobody asks who or if they love.

You come to me with fists and hearts
Clenched and full, looking for answers to questions
We all already know.
Pay me money for lies, a solid twenty for a cozy time.
I’ll play with cards.
I’ll play with crystals.
I’ll play with you.

And when i close shop, turn the lights off,
Lock up, and head home, and blink back slowly
At the large eyes in the night sky.
I leave and leave to go to sleep for a gentle eternity.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

GloPoWriMo – Day Seven – ‘Categories’

So today’s prompt was a little odd and complex, but refreshing to do. I will admit this one is kind of a mess. The prompt was to make a list of the different identities I have and then split them into two groups: Those that make me feel powerful and those that make me feel insecure. After those two groups are identified I was then to write a poem with the two groups having a conversation. I don’t like the current title so I may rename it in the future.. Anyway,  I hope you all enjoy the chaos!

 

‘Categories’

I don’t want you to forget
Who you are,
Who you’ve been.
There’s just been so much to learn
It’s hard to think about sometimes when alone-
Comparing ourselves to characters in books,
How we’ve grown and developed,
What’s our theme, what’s our setting,
Why are we acting this way
What are we trying to save.

There’s so much to know
And everything to explain.
We’ve grown so strong in recent years,
Comfortable, in many ways, a King among
The worlds in our mind. I understand but,
I don’t want you to feel less, forgotten, or ashamed
Of emotions.

But I am – and we know it, no matter how good
We are about making things okay that are better left
Forgotten. We can be the best, you are the best, I know,
A king of your own, ruler of body, mind, heart, but
Listen – I was never the one ashamed, just weary and scared.

I grew lost in existing with my head beside the stars.
I am lost constantly trying to find boxes to perfectly place
Gender, Sexuality, Religion, and Family – where do I stand
Where do I want to go, what to be, how can I fix myself
Before others try more vehemently to fix me.

The past is the past, we both know, but
I can never forget or forgive –
No matter how many books I read,
No matter how many papers I write,
No matter how hard or much I work,
Where we started,
What we started,
And where we’ve been:
A sister, a daughter, a granddaughter, a friend,
A problem child, an American, a quick learner, a hard worker,
An ambivert, asexual, greyromantic, genderless, deadheaded mess.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

GloPoWriMo – Day Six – ‘Good Morning’

Sorry this is a bit late! I had a few errands to run the last two days. Day seven is queued and should be posting in a few hours to catch me up.

Today’s prompt was to play with the length of our lines while reading!

‘Good Morning’

I smell dark coffee and oranges
At 6pm.
Waking up to a day already gone
But ready to get up anyway.
I learned perseverance was the best virtue,
It’s the most beautiful virtue,
With cigarette smoke and closed blinds
My childhood was spent like lost time.

These mornings
Now I do it all,
Opening the blinds and light incense on the mantle
Take a walk down the street and back-
It’s cool here in the early light and early night.
Breakfast was always just me
But now it’s me with a dog laying by my feet.
Checking news, reading a book, taking my time to wake up
To get up.
I take my vitamins with some water,
It’s routine, but my life routine is flexible.
I learned to try and live harder,
I get up and get going regardless
Of the sun or moon.

 
If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Unprompted – Making Art

Let’s start the year off with writer’s block. It’s usual a blessing in disguise because if I wasn’t questioning my ability to write before, then I sure am now. It’s not as bad as it was though – for a solid month now I haven’t been able to really get anything on paper that I liked. I didn’t want to share or post pieces I didn’t enjoy on the premise nobody probably would enjoy them. I’ve a lot of editing ahead of me, that’s for sure.

 

‘Making Art’

Nothing quite flows easily tonight
But everything comes to together
In time, in tired, long awaited time.

Whether it’s weaving or writing,
Art begins first as a dream, drawn out
It becomes something a little more-

But also something a little less perfect than
The dream it originally was dreamed,
Such is reality with all its law abiding imperfections.

I’ve got stories in my head, pictures in my eyes,
And yet I cannot get it just right in the moment
My pencil touches down, and it’s more than frustrating.

The simple amount of time it takes
Almost isn’t worth it, a skill of endless possibilities
Taking endless patience and more than endless practice.

It feels unfair, because it feels just right there
On the tips of my fingers and tongue, waiting for me
To do something with it other than spend long nights blankly.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.