Shadow Of May – Thursday Update – ‘Hibiscus Moon’

Back this week with another piece! I’ve been a little under the weather (mostly due to my POTS acting up), but I’m on the mend now. I’ve been at odds with sleep, so here’s a poem dedicated to that.

‘Hibiscus Moon’

Let me tell you about these
Hibiscus dreams I receive every night.
They are the acceptance I give every
Time I sleep – falling into the nothingness,
Tare-like void of a tired out existence.

These hibiscus dreams,
A sweet and sour sugar mix
Of thick, dark, red tea pumping
Through the lines of my consciousness
Like the blood in my slowing heart
As I drift into the fall.

Life is exhausting and I accpet
That I will be awake for most of it.

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

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Shadow of May – ‘Hard Sleep’

Today starts the first day that I am honestly attempting to post a weekly piece. Let’s see how long it lasts. This months poems will be jumping off questions from HillBilly Oracle’s May Tarot Challenge. I picking to publish pieces that come out half way decent. I hope you all enjoy!

‘Hard Sleep’

Find me another tree to hang from.
I am tired and want to sleep.
It has been a long road, my work
Almost complete – much more that I
Ever expected of me.

There’s good times ahead, so I promised myself
A big tree to make my bed between it’s leaves.
Night has fallen and I felt an ease on the breeze,
I found wine in the petals of daisies and dandelions
I stole orange honey from sleeping bees.

I drank to die, I drank to dream,
I drank and yet sleep eluded me
So I found myself hanging in a tree I stared
Sleepily out among the chattering woods.
I worked too hard to die in dreams.

 

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

NaPoWriMo – Day Twenty-Seven – ‘A Monday Day’

For day twenty-seven we were given the prompt to use the tarot as a jumping point for inspiration. I used my daily tarot card to write this one (I couldn’t pick a card at will, I’m too indecisive). My card was the 7 of Wands, a card meaning perseverance, defensiveness, and maintaining control.

 

‘A Monday Day’

It’s been rough, like all the stars aligned
All at once to say loudly and clearly
Fuck You.

It has been a Monday sort of week,
All the days are Mondays and
I work the weekend too-

So I’m drinking coffee for breakfast.
Coffee for lunch and dinner, coffee like it’s
A miracle food that will get me through.

One day it’s going to be another Monday,
The last, first, and only Monday in the week.
Until then I’m just doing what I’ve got to do.

 

 

If you enjoy my writing please try and support me by checking out my book Moth-Like. or my chapbook Simple Acrostics of Silly Desperation available on Amazon now! Also don’t feel afraid to comment or review on anything I post – I’d love to hear from you!

GloPoWriMo – Day Thirteen – ‘Milk’

The prompt for day thirteen of GloPoWriMo was to write a poem in which you turn a common phrase or idiom on its head.

‘Milk’

Don’t cry over split milk,
But do bitch over it instead.
It’s therapeutic and only natural
-The world is full of woe and trouble
And we can’t ever fix it all, but
We can bitch about split milk
As we watch the cup begin to fall.

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

GloPoWriMo – Day Four – ‘Restless Writing’

Sorry for the late post! Yesterdays prompt for GloPoWriMo was to write a poem about an abstract idea in concrete nouns. I wanted to do something with the feeling of restless energy, or being in a writers block. I hope you guys enjoy it!

 

‘Restless Writing’

We spent the days waiting on the porch
In front yard for night to show us its stars.
We spent and wasted the afternoon’s scorch
Tapping toes and shuffling old, bent cards.

But the days all dragged and passed slowly on
While the busy bus stop, clogged with traffic,
Chopped out a noise quiet unlike any song.
I waited through it all and wrote it holographic-

I waited, toes tapping, pen clicking, painting
Night fall on notebook paper – Words stored inside
Myself for so long, and through it all I was feigning
Something. It was a mess and a half, something beside

The cat meowing in the kitchen ready for dinner time.
I spent the day, the weeks, wasting time and being flustered.
Watching the sun drop in the sky, I tried to make it rhyme
With words and feelings that my soul barely just heard.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

Unprompted – Making Art

Let’s start the year off with writer’s block. It’s usual a blessing in disguise because if I wasn’t questioning my ability to write before, then I sure am now. It’s not as bad as it was though – for a solid month now I haven’t been able to really get anything on paper that I liked. I didn’t want to share or post pieces I didn’t enjoy on the premise nobody probably would enjoy them. I’ve a lot of editing ahead of me, that’s for sure.

 

‘Making Art’

Nothing quite flows easily tonight
But everything comes to together
In time, in tired, long awaited time.

Whether it’s weaving or writing,
Art begins first as a dream, drawn out
It becomes something a little more-

But also something a little less perfect than
The dream it originally was dreamed,
Such is reality with all its law abiding imperfections.

I’ve got stories in my head, pictures in my eyes,
And yet I cannot get it just right in the moment
My pencil touches down, and it’s more than frustrating.

The simple amount of time it takes
Almost isn’t worth it, a skill of endless possibilities
Taking endless patience and more than endless practice.

It feels unfair, because it feels just right there
On the tips of my fingers and tongue, waiting for me
To do something with it other than spend long nights blankly.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Productivity’

A quick little piece today, nothing much really – just some vent words. I hope you all have a good week! I’m making progress with NaNoWriMo, but not as much as I’d like. The next two weeks are going to be really busy for me, so hopefully I don’t get too far behind.

 

‘Productivity’

A productive day,
Waking up at 2pm
To get nothing done.
I’m watching the sun
Slink away, minutes collecting
Into days, transforming into
A month, then season,
Then finally a year.
I’m watching it all pass,
I wanted to do Something,
But the tiredness lasts
Longer than the hours
Spent tossing in bed.
I get up at 2pm,
And do nothing.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Envy’

I wanted to write more today, but work was exhausting. Luckily, I’ve got a three day weekend – at the cost of a single day off next week. We’ve got to prepare for the holidays at work and next week is when things start to really pick up. I’m going to try and catch up with my writing over the next three days. I’m roughly 10,000 words behind – though 50,000 isn’t my true goal, it is a nice number to aim for.

Today’s poem is.. fun. Personally, it’s hard to recognize when I’m envious. I always just end up thinking I dislike a person and not figuring out why until much later. I’m glad I can catch it – because I know it’s not something essential to whomever I’m envious of, I don’t enjoy disliking people for no good reason.

 

‘Envy’

You’re everything I want to be-
I’m growing envy, green envy, thorns
On a rose bush of admiration warding me
Away. I’ve only to see you to feel nervousness,
Dark and meek, depression rooting in.
I’m lacking in everything I promised myself
When I dreamed of what I’d grow to be,
Yet haven’t, I haven’t even come close.

I’m a disappointment, I see it, you see it-
So talk all harsh and cruel to me, show me
What an endless disappointment I am
At all these attempts I make to play pretend.
I’m strong and helpless, looking shallowly
For anyone’s sweet attention to spend.
Hate me and let me know it,
Make me face the facts that I bend.

I’m tired, and you’re bored of it.
Envy, it’s envy that makes me this way
How subtly in control of everything you know
You want and accept you want, while I juggle
These groundless and inconsistent feelings.
You’re better for your ability to admit and own up
To the thing that is my shameless, secret sin-
My indecent willingness to play pretend.

 

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.

NaNoWriMo – ‘Two Steps Backwards’

I’m so sorry, I skipped another day. I’ve been getting migraines off and on these last few months and it’s been very exhausting. Today’s wasn’t so bad, and after work and a quick nap I was able to write quite a bit. I’m still very behind on my word count, but at this point I don’t mind. I just want to finish all the fragments of poems I’ve got sitting around before it’s 2018.
Anyway, onward today’s poem. I know I said I was going to try to pull out some more upbeat stuff, but well, that’s easier said than done. I hope you all enjoy this one regardless!

 

‘Two Steps Backwards’

I know all too well who I am,
What I look like, how I dress,
My favorite foods, my limitlessness-
That I’ve limited in the name of names.

I’ve got it all down to a schedule,
A time and place I’ve got to be
To be me – what I need to do to meet
My quota to be self-knowing.

Shy, Angry, and fundamentally Organized –
I am driven to not look people in the eyes
Not even myself in the bathroom mirror-
Let the steam fog up so I don’t have to see.

Discordant. Disturbed. Dissociated.
I need to put it in place, any place
Inside of me where it can’t be seen.
I know all too well who I am.

I know also who and what I want to be,
And in the act of self-care I decided
To ignore self-love and chose instead to love
The limited limitlessness I’ve created for me.

 

If you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here;.

Daily Card Pull – The Wheel, reversed – ‘Bitter Bones’

So this was yesterdays card – I wrote it between jobs but didn’t post it because by the time I finished my final day at the night job I was feeling a little dead. The card I pulled was The Wheel of Fortune in reverse which is a card signifying bad luck and misfortune. Sure enough, it was a tough day despite little joys. Hopefully tomorrow I’ll get today’s and tomorrows out. For now I’d best head to sleep for I begin work at 5am.

 

‘Bitter Bones’

Today could’ve been a good day
Like no other, sprinkled with little blessings
Little joys found like leaving a job
I couldn’t stand anymore,
Being praised and seeing old friends,
Treating myself to coffee.

It all went so smooth, so well, yet
Lingering it all hurt. I woke up with the hurt,
A rotting somewhere around the knees and ankles.
The ache in my bones bluntly reminding me
Not all my days will be lived equally.
It was a sweet day with a bitter aftertaste.

I wanted to live it all fully, gleefully, but
All those simple little things were tainted by
My inability to focus, to busy trying to not fail
At everything I attempted, such as laughing
At a joke instead of wincing, and complaining
How today was a bit rougher than I wished.

 

 

 

If  you like my writing please check out my book Moth-Like. It can be bought on Amazon here.